An anonymous source has sent me a confidential memo that was sent by NBA Commissioner David J. Stern to the officials working the Celts/Cavs playoff game tomorrow night. This is an exclusive and is the only place where you can read it. For some of you, I'm sure that you will not be surprised as to what is discussed in the memo. Personally, I find it appalling.
To: NBA Officiating Crew of Boston Celtics vs. Cleveland
Cavaliers - Game 2From: David J. Stern
Re: King LeBron
By now, you realize that the officiating crew that worked Game 1 of the series between the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers didn't read the memo I had sent to them. If you ignore this memo, there will be dire consequences. Do not tempt me!
When you look at the box score that is attached to this memo, you will see that the King was called for 4 fouls in 39 minutes. FOUR FOULS! What good is it to have the player we are marketing as the face of the NBA to sit on the bench in foul trouble? How could he only go to the line 10 times? All this against the Boston Celtics!
You, my Brothers in Corruption, have the power to change things with your whistle. All you need to do is call a foul (preferably flagrant) every time the King drives to the basket. Be careful, though. Our brother, Tim Donaghy, went too far and got greedy. Brothers, believe me, I know greed and I know how to make money. If you need a way to make extra money, my people can help you.
I will not be able to attend Game 3 Saturday night. I thought I told the schedule maker to not put any Celtics playoff games on a Saturday as I need to be on-site to give you guys hand signals from my seat. Rest assured, I will have a representative from the league office at the game. Remember, we will be using Signal Scheme 5 for the game.
Yours truly in corruption,
David "Big J" Stern
So there you have it. We'll see what happens tomorrow night. We all know that the big J will get his way.
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